Frances Farmer

Real Communication

In Advice on December 24, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I’m starting to realize that most problems or disagreements stem from miscommunication. I’ve heard many times that “communication is key,” whatever that means. I prided myself for being able to communicate so well, or at least I thought. I finally came to learn that what I thought was good communication simply wasn’t. See, my thoughts happen in my mind just like you. No one can ever know what’s going on in your head unless you tell and explain the thoughts. Things like “dropping hints” and “suggestions” aren’t nearly as clear as we think. I believe that’s one reason why guys, for example, don’t pick up on someone crushing on him. These feelings of nervousness, fondness, and other emotions felt when attracted to someone may be clear to the person experiencing them; however, the people on the “outside” simply aren’t feeling the same emotions, therefore they aren’t in the “loop.”

English: Emotions associated with sadness

English: Emotions associated with happiness

English: Emotions associated with anger

Words have to be employed to bridge the emotional gap. Not just basic words, but truly descriptive words. For instance, frustration can be considered a subcategory of anger thus being more specific. However, if someone is feeling frustrated, he/she should describe it as such. Explaining these words in relation to yourself is the next step; each word has its own definition, but infinite meanings to each person, therefore explanations further clarify and describe the situation. Beyond words comes actions, which literally puts abstract ideas into perspective. Combining words, clarifications, and actions can effectively put someone on the same page as you. A good start is to try to voice every thought you have concerning a certain situation, so someone else can follow your thought process.

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